Happy 150th Birthday Canada! Diversity, Connection and Resolution

Happy Canada day weekend! May we all find our own unique healthy way to celebrate Canada's150th birthday. We are a country which prides ourselves in its diversity. Of course diversity brings wonderful unique ways of celebrating Canada. As we are preparing to celebrate Canada Day, some First Nations people are rallying in Ottawa to be heard, seen and acknowledged. This is a healthy response to honouring their needs. The more mutual connection, and healthy attachment we have with each other, the more friction we see in our connections. This means people are finding ways to work out issues. When people are silenced and threatened, the friction goes underground, and violence and marginalization always occurs. This is an immature state of a culture. What does have this have to do with celebrating Canada's birthday? Everything! Some Canadians are radiating abundance, and some Canadians are radiating hopelessness and despair. A true celebrations embraces all of these nuances in every person.

When people can safely step up, and ask with entitlement, "What about my needs?" There is an opportunity for negotiation and resolution. As a feminist, in the seventies, many women did not ask for their needs to be met with as much entitlement as women do today. And yet, many women today, have many more rights then women did in the seventies. Self-awareness brings more awareness to one's needs, and hunger to have these needs met. Hence, more friction is apt to begin.

As a clinical counsellor, and personal growth facilitator, I state where there is no friction there is no connection. Ask any engineer: "Can you have connection without friction?" Absolutely not! When we realize friction is natural in forming ever changing connections, development growth and transitions occur, we accommodate these transactions, and there is healthy back and forth interactions. The probability of violence is significantly less. The more mature a culture is in supporting individual differences and needs, the more mature are the solutions on how to create a yes and world with great flexibility and empowerment.

In systems where freedom for all is not honoured, people are shut down and the healthy friction becomes unhealthy fear, and violence. Coming back to Canada and its celebrations, the unrest Canada is seeing is healthy. This unrest and satisfaction which we see around us, is part of the the transformation which is happening in our country. Just the way it should be happening. Diversity is alive and well in Canada.

Life is all about change. Now how will be celebrate Canada's 150 years of life? Lets say it this way? First comes the honeymoon, then comes the question: "Who are you Canada?" Then comes the hard work of making a home in Canada, and then comes the power struggles on how to improve what is not working, and then comes the stage of acceptance, and then the spark of gratitude to live here. Similar to the development stages in every relationship whether at home or at work.

The interesting part is, every Canadian citizen is at a different development stage in their alliance to Canada. The First Nations people have lived here since 1000 B.C to 500 B.C. See the perspective will be very different than someone whose family roots are one generation old in Canada. Understanding this difference, empowers us all to now stop, and pause, reflect on how we feel, and how does the other person feel. This develops deeper empathy and a relationship field of higher Emotional Intelligence.

Some Canadians are at the Honeymoon stage, some are at the power struggle stage, and some are at the gratefulness stage, some are doing their best to let only some change happen. At every stage there is something to gain and something to loose. Realizing this psychological flow in all relationships creates healthy responses, and brings opportunity for something more for the future. This is enlightened individuation.

Individuation creates a yes and world, a world of kindness and respect for each other.

May this be what Canada always stands for, a YES AND WORLD! All people are welcomed and loved!

Thank you to Canada, and to all of you who are so part of making this country great. Happy Canada Day! I love you Canada!

Thank you for reading this article. I would love to here your comments. Thank you.

WHY MORE WOMEN NEED TO BE LEADERS? WHY MORE MEN NEED TO DO PERSONAL GROWTH WORK?

Being a great leader is not dependent on one's sex. Yet the sex of the individual determines the probability of being a leader, and a leader that will be supported by the masses Why this is, is not as important, as is, how to move forward. How can we see more more women as leaders, and more men doing their personal growth work?

Women need to have a healthy representation of our population in places of power. When leadership positions are given to a minority group of privileged people it is skewed. This leads to a dangerous myopic decision making process. It  excludes the voices of humanitarian needs,  and planet needs. The political focus is on control, unhealthy power, and financial profit, at any cost.

Why are women excluded from leadership? Women share a huge capacity for multitasking. Statistically women are the primary care giver, social convenor, single parents, and like men, bread winners with less privileges then men. Yet women are still not properly represented in the public eye. We need women to be seen as natural leaders, and break this damaging schism between the sexes of an us and them. This schism between the sexes and the existence of gender roles annihilates the right for individual human dignity and ethics. When one sex represents both sexes we are in dangerous waters.

Women traditionally hold a stronger sense of mutuality and connection. Historically women handle conflict with significantly less complexity than we have see among men. Women appreciate deeper transparency, and are less prone to fearing healthy conflict. In the personal and professional development courses I have taken and have given, it is predominantly women who are present, unless the course holds the power for greater financial growth. This is where the men thrive in numbers. Women will attend a life time of personal growth for greater self awareness and empowerment, men typically do not.

It is in the personal development world we see predominately women and in the financial world we see predominantly men  With this kind of background, which type of people will be more competent in addressing the needs of those who are disempowered and lost? We need to see men and women mixing up the stereotype of the sexes. More men in the personal growth world, and more women in the leadership world.

Our future is our children, and our planet  We need more and more women to be leaders, and help wake up the dangerous emotional climate, that children are reared in, where attachment is less and less valued., A world without a better representation of women in leadership roles and men in personal development workshops, we are going in the wrong direction for the humanity of everyone. 

Ruminations for You:

Women why not choose to step out, show up and understand your lack of privilege in leadership positions is not earned, it has been taken from you by force. It is a political system of power.  Why not show up and express yourself your way? Be strong, humble and kind.

Men why not choose to step out, show up and understand your privilege in leadership positions is not always earned, it has often been given to you. It is a political system of power.  Why not show up and express yourself, your way? Be strong, humble and kind.

Women why not choose to follow your passions and talents,  and assert your success, come out into the world, in good  ways you never imagined possible?.

Men why not choose to follow your passions and talents,  and assert your success, and come out into the world, in good ways you never imagined possible?.

Women and men, why not mingle with each other  more? See more of the similarities and connections with everyone you meet? See how you can bring out the best in yourself and each other? Why Not?

 

 

 

 

THE POWER OF BEING YOU EXERCISE

 THE EMPOWERMENT OF BEING YOU

THE POWER OF BEING YOU EXERCISE

Describe two incidents in your childhood that you did something that was all about your personal desire, choice and empowerment.

Describe one incident in your adulthood that you did something that was all about your personal desire and choice.

TRAITS THAT PORTRAY INDIVIDUATED EMPOWERMENT

Tick the traits that you portrayed in these three incidents.

strong_        determined_    focussed_        realistic_    

self-reflective_    proud_        adventurous_    knowledgeable_    confident_        pleased_        proactive_        self-aware_        motivated_    empowered_    self-defined_    unstoppable_    honest_        ethical_        kind_        depth_    experienced_    intuitive_        boundaried_    aware of others_    compassionate_        assertive_        inspired_        big picture_        own your time_ disruptor_        disciplined_    efficient use of time_    joyous_        sincere_        accountable_    why not attitude_

AWARENESS OF DISEMPOWERMENT

How do you know when you are overwhelmed/anxious?

How do you know when your relationship ( spouse, friend, colleague is overwhelmed/anxious?

How do you care for your needs when overwhelmed/anxious?

HOW TO EMPOWER AND LOVE YOURSELF WITH AWARENESS!

Make your health and fitness of body, mind and soul your priority._

Make your home and work place a healthy environment for yourself._

Financially educate yourself, be disciplined and see the big picture in your decisions to expand your wealth._

Choose joy with self talk, self care, healthy environment._

Create real relationships with soul mates._    Keep yourself attractive._

Give to others._    Do not react, act._    Be loving._    Manage your self-talk_

Focus on education and personal growth._ Stay ahead of the times._

Feed your brain, rest your brain, sleep lots as needed._

Know when to forgive yourself, and when to let go of what is not working.

copyright@ KyraConsulting Inc. 2017

 

 

 

REALLY, WHAT IS LIVING BIG?

Thank you, to all of you for sending in your ideas on Living Big. Your communication is deeply appreciated. It has been a recurring question, "What does Living Big mean? Outside the Living Big community, I often have to tone down my answer so not to overwhelm the listener. So I state, "Ah, Living Big is about personal development, building motivation, learning skill sets on how to live a more successful, joyful, personal and career life. Thats all!". Sometimes they will nod, some will ask wonderfully exciting questions, others are kind of not too curious. It is like visiting the Grand Canyon, some travellers are crazy curious about the Grand Canyon, hike into its belly, breathe it, smell it, devour it with all their wonderful senses, and others take out their cell phones, and fill their curiosity with selfies and send texts, and instagram photos to their friends and family, and then think, NEXT! Living Big is not the latter! 

I wait for the listener to appear, to share with them what Living Big is really about.  It is a trouble making, rabble rousing journey, taking you into your fullest actualization of who you really are! Living Big takes you away from being special, and into a world of totally involving  yourself into every moment that you are living. Living Big is being fully active, not reactive!

Living Big is being fully active, not reactive!

Remember, how you respond to your life experiences, is a conscious, or unconscious choice.  It is always a choice made. The more self-aware you are, the more conscious you are, and  the stronger is the empowered leader inside you.  For all of us,  there is a mighty leader inside of us!  

Attending our Living Big events you will break through the daily drudgery of numbness, comfortableness, under-confidence and over-confidence. You will be invited into a world of self- discovery, excitement, quietness, depth, action, and sincerity in every aspect of your life!

Living Big is about making your life really happen for yourself. Living Big is living with a deepest sense of humanity, dignity, integrity, kindness and honesty. It is about living in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, and choices. You will become more vulnerable, stronger, joyous, loving, kinder, emotionally intelligent, creative, motivated and hungry to make your life happen in new ways!  Living Big is an intimate, and assertivejourney of individuation and self-actualization.

Living Big is about making your life really happen for yourself. 

An excellent example of Living Big , is all around us in the Natural World.  Wherever you look there is abundance. Have you ever studied the sky and seen any boundaries or limits? Have you ever thought of how many rain drops does it take to fill a stream, a lake, an ocean? Have you ever counted the needles on a fir tree, the dandelions on a prairie lawn? You see the Natural World is always showing us this vast infinite space of abundance and possibilities! Now imagine, how this infinite existence of abundance all around us, is also inside all of us. Now you can choose to breathe deeper, and just smile. Look around and smile! There is more ahead for you, for all that you love, and are inspired to build! Beautiful isn't it?

"Abundance is not what we have, it is what we share!". This is LIVING BIG!

This is what we are proud to excite in you when you attend our events. Sound good?


We love hearing your ideas and feedback!

Suzanne and Living Big Team


"Success is the joy of happiness!" Suzanne Kyra

 

Do Conclusions Really Exist?

I used to often ruminate on what will it be like when my father and mother die. I asked  my friends whose parents had died what was it like for them. Their answers differed in many ways. I realized that their answers typically depended on their own and their parents' circumstances when their parents died, like the age of their parents, the relationship they had with their parents, their own age, and the circumstance, that took place at their parents' time of death, and what happened after a parent's death. This all determined their personal grieving process.

Well I learned something new about myself, with my father's passing on, and my grieving process. I realized that death does not bring completion to one's relationship. I even realized that with my father's passing on, that his life did not end for me. His presence feels as vibrant as when he was alive. I witness that as family and friends grieve my father's passing on,  he lives on, in all of our hearts. In fact I quite feel him hanging out around me, in a kind of quiet and loving manner. As I prepared for his Eulogy, I felt  his and my connection in an even more tangible and empowering manner. I came to experience his passing on, not as death, rather as another transformation in his being. Like when he used to carry me as a young child, then later when he drove me to school, when he visited me, when I left home and began University, when he held my son for the first time when with a huge beaming smile, and when he told me he loved me and that he was dying, and my tears did not cry, they just spilt out of my eye balls, and I knew I was sitting beside a great being, and we would never be separate.

Love knows no beginnings and conclusions. It is just there. We realize it and call it a beginning, or an ending, and it is just there, we just recognize it in that moment of now. 

People tell me that it is hard when a parent dies. I experience my father's  passing on as another gift to be, with what is, and stay strong. This is the sacred path of knowing conclusions, completions are not in the real world, everything is just in a state of transformation. Do I miss my father in his physical form, of course I do. And my memories of him now are more verdant, and this brings me no conclusion to his existence. He exists in everyone he touched, and everything he lived. We are all on a path of connection.

I began to think of other parts in my life, when I think something is coming to a close, or to a completion, and I realize that this actually never exists. Conclusions and completions are merely part of a process of life, it is ever changing and things and people keep shifting. 

Everything that is really mattering, is what is right now. For instance, what is right now in my relationship with my past, and what is right now in my relationship with my future. I shrug my shoulders, and realize conclusions and beginnings are more external myths, we prescribe to give some normalcy ,or control over our lives. What control do we have with the entire concept of time moving, experiences happening, connections coming and going, love waxing and waning and waxing and waning. We are travelling on our unique paths, encountering others, learning about ourselves and others. In conclusion there is no conclusion, because  life is ever shifting and does not do conclusions.

My father was there when I was born, he cared for me in my growing up years, and each year was different than the previous one, just like it is now with his passing on. His passing on has opened up an infinite space within me, where he physically existed before, and now his existence lives on in my heart and mind, and I sense his beingness still around me. Where do we find a conclusion in this?

I am a clinical counsellor, and I may not see a client for several years, and I might bump into that client on a street corner, and all that we shared together in their courgeous work, lives on in my own being, and I feel a deep warmth for this person. I know of no completion or conclusion in any part of my existence or relationships. It is a path we are all  living, and it continues beyond our physical existence. 

Thank you for reading my blog. I enjoy writing these blogs and please do never hesitate to respond. I would love to hear your experience.

With Much Joy,

Suzanne Kyra.