Happy Canada day weekend! May we all find our own unique healthy way to celebrate Canada's150th birthday. We are a country which prides ourselves in its diversity. Of course diversity brings wonderful unique ways of celebrating Canada. As we are preparing to celebrate Canada Day, some First Nations people are rallying in Ottawa to be heard, seen and acknowledged. This is a healthy response to honouring their needs. The more mutual connection, and healthy attachment we have with each other, the more friction we see in our connections. This means people are finding ways to work out issues. When people are silenced and threatened, the friction goes underground, and violence and marginalization always occurs. This is an immature state of a culture. What does have this have to do with celebrating Canada's birthday? Everything! Some Canadians are radiating abundance, and some Canadians are radiating hopelessness and despair. A true celebrations embraces all of these nuances in every person.
When people can safely step up, and ask with entitlement, "What about my needs?" There is an opportunity for negotiation and resolution. As a feminist, in the seventies, many women did not ask for their needs to be met with as much entitlement as women do today. And yet, many women today, have many more rights then women did in the seventies. Self-awareness brings more awareness to one's needs, and hunger to have these needs met. Hence, more friction is apt to begin.
As a clinical counsellor, and personal growth facilitator, I state where there is no friction there is no connection. Ask any engineer: "Can you have connection without friction?" Absolutely not! When we realize friction is natural in forming ever changing connections, development growth and transitions occur, we accommodate these transactions, and there is healthy back and forth interactions. The probability of violence is significantly less. The more mature a culture is in supporting individual differences and needs, the more mature are the solutions on how to create a yes and world with great flexibility and empowerment.
In systems where freedom for all is not honoured, people are shut down and the healthy friction becomes unhealthy fear, and violence. Coming back to Canada and its celebrations, the unrest Canada is seeing is healthy. This unrest and satisfaction which we see around us, is part of the the transformation which is happening in our country. Just the way it should be happening. Diversity is alive and well in Canada.
Life is all about change. Now how will be celebrate Canada's 150 years of life? Lets say it this way? First comes the honeymoon, then comes the question: "Who are you Canada?" Then comes the hard work of making a home in Canada, and then comes the power struggles on how to improve what is not working, and then comes the stage of acceptance, and then the spark of gratitude to live here. Similar to the development stages in every relationship whether at home or at work.
The interesting part is, every Canadian citizen is at a different development stage in their alliance to Canada. The First Nations people have lived here since 1000 B.C to 500 B.C. See the perspective will be very different than someone whose family roots are one generation old in Canada. Understanding this difference, empowers us all to now stop, and pause, reflect on how we feel, and how does the other person feel. This develops deeper empathy and a relationship field of higher Emotional Intelligence.
Some Canadians are at the Honeymoon stage, some are at the power struggle stage, and some are at the gratefulness stage, some are doing their best to let only some change happen. At every stage there is something to gain and something to loose. Realizing this psychological flow in all relationships creates healthy responses, and brings opportunity for something more for the future. This is enlightened individuation.
Individuation creates a yes and world, a world of kindness and respect for each other.
May this be what Canada always stands for, a YES AND WORLD! All people are welcomed and loved!
Thank you to Canada, and to all of you who are so part of making this country great. Happy Canada Day! I love you Canada!
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